Archive for the 'Funnies' Category

The Reminiscence of a Queen

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

“Have you chosen a major” I asked my niece. Rachel, her mother, my daughter Trellace, and I were sitting in Starbucks™ having a late night snack. Rachel had graduated from high school a few hours earlier. “Theater, I think, with a minor in photography.” I recalled the last five years or more when she and [...]

Baptism Sister Style

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

“And on March 9th, we’ll have a lab experience,” my professor said, “to practice baptism by immersion.” Practice baptism? Shoot, I’ve been doing that all my life. No, I’m not an ordained pastor. In fact, I’ve only been in a baptismal pool once, for my own baptism 38 years ago. But, I’m a Baptist preacher’s [...]

An Odor Not So Pleasing

Monday, October 19th, 2009

“This isn’t going to end up in your blog, is it Mrs. Lawrimore?” My daughter Trellace and her friend Kaitlin, having participated in the annual five-mile Crop Walk, returned to the church prior to the evening’s activities. Hungry and with time to, well, burn, they found a bag of microwave popcorn, set the timer to [...]

Tire Store Typecast

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

So there I was, sitting in Jan Davis Tire Store (time to get the tires rotated, don’t cha know), minding my own beeswax, when in walks (I kid you not) Osama Bin Laden’s nephew. Olive skinned and bearded, with a pill-box shaped hat perched on his Middle Eastern hair, he wore billowing britches, a flowing [...]

Zhenya’s Igloo

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

As a parent volunteer, I have often tutored kids for whom English is a second language. Such was the case a few years ago when I was working with a young Russian boy who was a student at my children’s elementary school. One day, we were working on adjective/noun constructions. He had written a story [...]

Swimming–not what it used to be

Monday, March 9th, 2009

Over the weekend, I took my youngest, now 11, to the swimming pool at the YMCA. She went with a friend one day; we took brother Baker with her the next. Both days, I took the kids, signed them in at the pool, then went upstairs to exercise. Blissful. Watching parents of younger kids do [...]

Baker and Bone Mass

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

I knew the day was coming; I just expected to have a little more notice. So when Baker came into the kitchen on Saturday morning, having grown overnight, and announced, “Hey Mom, look! I really am taller than you now,” it surprised me that he was indeed right. After all, Baker may be turning 13 [...]

Chocolate Sleeze

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

Have you noticed all the half-priced candied hearts and discounted chocolates? Ahha. It must be February. February: Valentine’s Day, President’s Day and Dental Health Month! I wonder. Did America’s dentists choose this month because we eat so much chocolate, or because George Washington’s teeth were notoriously unhealthy? The world may never know. In any case, [...]

Greetings.

Saturday, December 6th, 2008

It used to be so easy. Sometimes I would say, “Merry Christmas!” Sometimes I would say, “Happy Holidays!” Now, I don’t know what to say. Back in the day, I often said, “Happy Holidays.” It applied to Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s, which covered most people I addressed. Now, if I say “Happy Holidays,” I [...]

Shirt Tucking–The Key to Coolness?

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

“Mom, you can’t go out like that.” My daughter somehow managed to express horror, disgust, and the scantest level of pity in one glance as she took in my outfit. I looked down at my t-shirt and denim shorts. I couldn’t imagine what fashion rule I was breaking with this most basic of outfits. “Why?” [...]